You remember the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears: One bed was too hard, one was too soft, one was just right. The same principles apply when leading a team in a dental practice.

Too Hard: The "it's my way or the highway" approach. Yes, you do have the authority to dismiss those who won't align with your vision, but there is a big difference between being an authority figure and being authoritarian. Effective leadership is about setting the right expectations, providing clarity on how to achieve them, and giving support and motivation to stay on track.

People want to work for someone they can believe in. Just issuing orders and neglecting to acknowledge the personal implications of what you do does little to inspire a team to support you.

Too Soft: The "let's be buddies" approach. Everyone wants to be loved, but the simple fact is that your employees are not your friends. It's great if you like one another, and you definitely should respect one another, enjoy working together and celebrate successes together. It's also natural that you will take an interest in the lives of the people you see each day. But there are certain realities to workplace relationships, and one of them is that those in authority must maintain a reasonable emotional distance from those who work for them. After all, friends don't require friends to change their work habits or have them report on progress. That is the role of a leader, and it's a different dynamic than being a friend.

Just Right: Think about the best coaches or teachers you have had in your life. I'll bet they weren't distant and cold, but neither did they cloud things by introducing an overly friendly tone to the relationship. You respected their authority and you recognized their competence. You enjoyed being around them, and you felt richer for having them in your life, but you were always aware of the boundaries.

This is the kind of leader you should aspire to be. Not a figurehead at the top of a hierarchy, and not "one of the guys," but rather the central force and the source of guiding values in the practice. You'll know you are a real leader when you can have a difficult conversation with a team member that makes your expectations clear and at the same time is rooted in mutual respect and trust. That's how to get it just right.


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