To thrive in the healthcare world, not only do we need to be on top of our game treating patients holistically, but we also need to embrace team building as a full-time job. As Sam Altman (CEO of OpenAI, but former CEO of Y combinator, which is one of the most robust startup incubators in Silicon Valley) frames it: “successful business thrive when customers go out of their way to talk about their experience”, however such experience needs to be curated by the whole team.

In the healthcare world, we need to embrace team building as a full-time job
In the healthcare world, we need to embrace team building as a full-time job.

Therefore, as teambuilders we are responsible for calibrating the energy within our teams, and continually fine tuning the functioning structure of how “we” operate and deliver the experience.

Self-Awareness in Team Building

Years ago, I found a quote that beautifully captures the “quintessential team building spirit,” it is from Norman Schidle the author of a book called “The Art of Successful Communication.” This quote says: “A group becomes a team, when each member is sure enough of his contributions in order to praise the skills of others.”

A “simple” yet profound insight, that suggests carrying out something that is actually much easier said than done, because it requires the right chemistry among the members of the team, it also requires  sincere admiration for and from our fellow teammates, paired with a high level of self-awareness (and self-esteem) because at the end of the day we are all humans, and it is not always easy to govern our words, behavior and feelings consistently. We can all have good days, great days but we also have some bad days. And the outcome of a bad days is normally commensurate with the amount of “emotional poker chips” we possess that day, and since teams are comprised of multiple players, it becomes increasingly complex to consistently quantify the “stash” of emotional poker chips from each member in our team every day.

Being cognizant of how our own “stash” plays a vital role in our daily team dynamics. On a basic level, self-awareness is nothing other than seeing ourselves clearly but also seeing how we fit into the world; it is the ability to recognize and understand our emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, and motivations. Therefore, it becomes a fundamental aspect of personal growth and development. Self-aware individuals are better equipped to manage various situations and interact with others more effectively, it allows leaders to navigate with authenticity, empathy, and adaptability.

However, according to behavioral psychologist Tasha Eurich's research, many people tend to overestimate how self-aware they are. It turns out that we believe we understand ourselves and our impact on others much better than we actually do and this “overconfidence” becomes harmful as it hinders personal growth and effective interactions with others.

I assume that many of you may think of yourselves as quite self-aware. Well, I hate to disappoint you, but this may not necessarily be all that accurate.

In her best-selling book “Insight,” Eurich describes two facets of self-awareness that are actually completely unrelated: an internal and an external facet. These refer to how individuals perceive and understand themselves in relation to their own thoughts and feelings (internal) and how they are perceived and understood by others (external). And so it happens that both dimensions of self-awareness are important for personal and interpersonal growth and effectiveness.

Internal Self-Awareness

It involves introspection and self-reflection. It is the ability to examine our thoughts, emotions, values, strengths, and weaknesses. It allows us to understand our own motivations and why we think and feel the way you do. Internally self-aware individuals display a high emotional intelligence, they recognize and manage their own emotions, which is essential for making sound decisions, managing stress, and forming healthy relationships.

This is why internal self-awareness is conducive to developing:

  • Personal growth: When you know your strengths and weaknesses, you can work on improving yourself and setting realistic goals.

  • Self-Regulation: Understanding your internal state helps you regulate your behavior and responses. It enables you to manage your impulses and reactions effectively.

  • Self-Identity: Internal self-awareness contributes to a powerful sense of self-identity. It allows you to define your values, beliefs, and identity, which can guide your life choices.
Internally self-aware individuals display high emotional intelligence
Internally self-aware individuals display high emotional intelligence.

External Self-Awareness

It involves understanding how we are perceived by others, being attuned to their thoughts, feelings, and reactions to our behavior. This is crucial for effective social interactions (team dynamics). It stems from being open to feedback from others and valuing their perspectives. It allows us to learn from others' observations and adjust accordingly.

  • Leadership Effectiveness: Leaders with high external self-awareness can better understand the needs and concerns of their team members, leading to better decision-making.

  • Interpersonal Skills: Understanding how our actions impact others is essential for building and maintaining positive relationships. External self-awareness helps adapt our communication and behavior to different social contexts and circumstances.

  • Teamwork: In a team or group setting, external self-awareness is crucial for collaboration. It helps team members understand each other's strengths, weaknesses, and communication styles, facilitating better teamwork.

Enhancing Our External Self-Awareness

Even the most self-aware individuals exhibit some blind spots, which can be categorized as:

  • Knowledge blindness: overestimating what we think we know. (The more we think we are an expert on a given subject, the more we exhibit blindness. This is often described as the Dunning-Krueger effect: “When confidence exceeds competence”)

  • Behavioral blindness: There are certain things about our behavior that we simply cannot see that are obvious to others.

  • Emotion blindness: Not understanding the overall context of our feelings.

Therefore, to improve external self-awareness, we need to seek periodic feedback. This means actively asking between three to five close individuals such as colleagues, friends, mentors, and family members to provide feedback, and we need to be picky about the people we choose because not everyone is fit for the job.

Feedback should consist of specifically asking for honest assessments of our strengths and weaknesses (Check out this previous article on some strategies to provide and receive feedback).

The caveat is not always are we willing to receive feedback (days with low stash of emotional poker chips); therefore, these sessions need to be structured in such a way that both the provider and the receivers are protected. Giving feedback produces tension in both parties, for the giver, it requires to show some level of vulnerability, and for the receiver, it requires even more. The session should be brief and geared towards reviewing specific traits.

Structured Feedback Technique:

  1. Select a specific area that you want to receive feedback for.
  2. Then the receiver starts with the following format: From 0 to 10, please provide a number that “represents your perception of me as a leader”.
  3. Ok, I will give you a seven.
  4. If the receiver just thanks the giver without further comments, that means the feedback provider should not continue. (Because the receiver is not emotionally ready to hear it)
  5. If the numeric assessment sits well with the receiver and feels good about continuing the process, then after verbally thanking, they should further ask:  Can you please provide me with a recommendation of how you think I can improve?
  6. The giver then proceeds providing such recommendation such as “I think you should try to avoid being on social media during working hours because it seems to distract you from your leadership role.”
  7. When they are done, the receiver needs to thank (avoiding justifying why they do it) so they can let the advice sink in. And the session is over.

Receiver Tasks:

  1. Active Listening:

Practice empathy by putting yourself in others' shoes and trying to understand their perspectives and emotions. Develop active listening skills by giving your full attention to the members of your team, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting on what you have heard before responding.

  1. Self-Reflection:

Take time to reflect on your interactions and experiences. Consider how your actions, words, and decisions may have affected others. Periodic journaling can be a useful tool for self-reflection. Write down your thoughts and feelings about various situations and how you think others perceived you and contrast these to what you hear and then adjust your habits/ behavior accordingly.

  1. Non-Verbal Cues:

Pay attention to non-verbal cues like body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice during conversations. These cues can provide valuable insights into others' feelings and reactions. Try to match your non-verbal cues with your verbal communication to ensure your message is consistent and clear.

10 Key Attributes of Self-Aware Leaders

  1. Emotional Intelligence: Self-aware leaders are in tune with their emotions and can also empathize with the emotions of others.

  2. Authenticity: Self-aware leaders are genuine; they do not try to be someone they are not or hide their vulnerabilities.

  3. Adaptability: Self-aware leaders are open to change and can adapt their leadership style to different situations and individuals.

  4. Self-Regulation: Self-aware leaders can manage their emotions, stay composed under pressure, and make rational decisions.

  5. Self-Improvement: Self-aware leaders are committed to personal growth and development.

  6. Conflict Resolution: Self-aware leaders are adept at resolving conflicts within their teams. They can identify the root causes of disagreements and address them in a constructive and empathetic manner.

  7. Empathy: Self-aware leaders have a deep sense of empathy. They can understand the perspectives and feelings of their team members, which helps them provide support, guidance, and mentorship effectively.

  8. Better Decision-Making: Self-aware leaders make more informed and well-rounded decisions. They consider their own biases and emotions, as well as the potential impact of their decisions on others, leading to more balanced and ethical choices.

  9. Inspiration and Motivation: Self-aware leaders lead by example; they set high standards for themselves and inspire others to do the same.

  10. Resilience: They can bounce back from setbacks, learn from their failures, and maintain a positive outlook even during challenging times.

Remember, most self-aware people have between 3 to 5 people that provide periodic feedback, so if you did not practice this routinely, you need to find “these loving critics”, that you trust have the best intentions, which can be high value, short time invested feedback providers. Keep in mind that these nuanced details become critical to ensure a sustainable endeavor and keep an eye on yours and your teammates; “stash of emotional poker chips.”

Team building is an ongoing process
Team building is an ongoing process.

Team building is an ongoing process, and as such, team builders need to commit to improving external self-awareness as an ongoing process that requires continuous effort and self-reflection. By actively seeking feedback, practicing empathy, and honing your interpersonal skills, you can enhance your ability to understand how others perceive you and build more effective relationships.

Ricardo Mitrani, D.D.S., M.S.D., is a Spear Resident Faculty member.


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