The One Hundred Percent Solution

What are your expectations in a relationship? We often look at a lot of our relationships, especially in a work environment, in a transactional way. In your relationships with your team members, for instance, there is an exchange of goodwill, and there are expectations on both sides. You expect a level of competence and commitment; they expect fair compensation and a work environment where they can flourish. This is why we are often told that an ideal relationship is made up of a 50/50 contribution of energy and commitment. That sounds fair. But I think those numbers are wrong.

Think of the most meaningful relationship you can have – the one defined by deep love. When you are truly in love with another person, you give without reservation and you do it wholeheartedly. You don't withhold a measure of your love until you see what you believe to be an equal return. In that sense, the best marriages are not 50/50 arrangements – they are 100/100. And even though you give without expectation of return, what usually happens is that the power of that commitment is reflected back. Full commitment inspires full commitment.

So if you see value in any relationship and you want it to work, don't wait for someone to meet you halfway – if you do, you're probably only putting in half-measures yourself. If it's a relationship worth preserving and growing, it's worth taking the lead and giving it the best you've got.