What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?

Psychologists call it self-talk; the internal dialogue inside our head that provides a running commentary of our life. It's the voice you hear most often because there is nobody you talk to more than yourself.

This is the voice that narrates and speculates about the mundane daily events of our lives – what's happening at this moment and what to have for lunch.

This is the voice that speaks to us after we have been stimulated by an event, when we add our own imagination and embellishments to construct our version of what happened. Think of how you can replay an argument over and over again in your mind each time adding new interpretations of what “they” meant and what you could have said.

This is the voice that anticipates events and tells us how to approach them. Ever wake up thinking “This is going to be a day from Hell” as you contemplate your schedule? No doubt you've also had days when you've bounded out of bed full of energy and optimism, because your internal dialogue has inspired you to expect great things. Anyone who doesn't believe that our self-talk has an effect on our approach to the day has never seen a child race out of bed on Christmas morning.

The point is that in all of these cases where we are talking to ourselves, we are telling ourselves a story. As human beings, we respond to narratives. We are constantly and subconsciously putting the events of our lives into the context of a story. And whether we realize it or not, the stories we choose to tell ourselves can have a profound impact on the way we behave and ultimately, our results.

Our stories become our reality. That voice in your head is not just background chatter, it's your interpreter and your coach and it's telling you how to respond to the world around you. But you control this voice. By changing what you say when you talk to yourself you can change your reality.